The Queen is a horse thief from a long line of horse thieves

A picture of the Queen in a tabloid. She is naked.

He finds it in the centre of a greasy-inked newspaper. The picture is the full length of a page. It is for cut-out and keep.

The face is a photo taken in an unguarded moment superimposed (via computer) on a body which is apparently a kind of realistic artist's impression. Her face is anguished and manic, with rabid little sharp teeth projecting from red gums. Her eyes behind her big glasses seem to roll insanely. She wears a light tiara.

She has a round, flabby, wrinkled belly, under whose rolls of flesh can be seen a growth of sparse, insipid pubic hair, like reluctant weeds. Her old teats are mere spent flaps of skin that reach her belly. Her thighs and upper arms are masses of ravaged, mottled flesh, that droop sadly.

This photo-spread in the centre of the tabloid has several purposes. It can be cut out and used as a prayer mat. It can be pinned to the inside of your cupboard and used as a dartboard. Ideally, it should be reproduced endlessly in chain form and used as bunting in the streets on jubilee days and important anniversaries.

M. wants to cut out the head and use it as a sticker. Put it on his desk drawer next to his sticker that says "The Queen is a horse-thief from a long line of horse thieves". M. having found the greasy old newspaper in his cupboard for the moment looks at the picture amusedly by the brownwood cupboard door.

He'll put the new head next to his sticker of the 77 safety-pin Anarchy in the UK Queen. Blankly reproduced in black n white.