"What appeared to me before as a mocking, empty arrangement of absurdities to succour fools and ghosts suddenly, with love, appeared to me as grand and significant, flushed with human nobility, a scheme to conjoin and support my love, or a mere background to its drama.
How foolish it was, after this insight, to have dwelled on the void, languishing in its isolation and emptiness like someone who stays overlong in a bath of filthy water, too disgusted to emerge, till in the end i inflicted these insights, gained from limitless empty vistas, upon myself, wallowing in the picquancy that may sometimes accompany the most abject despair.
What insights a dying man may have, since the depth of his misery may also be a height, a vantage point of freshness and honesty from which to view all of life, a distorting persepctive, to be sure, but also one of loftiness, distance, ultimately of freedom. For it is freedom that is sought in the act of surrendering, it is release that is desired."
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