Where then is my happiness? Maybe it's just internal, brief gladness that you might have for some fleeting second walking somewhere alone, just a momentary feeling of numinous warmth or realization, not depending on any material possession but in fact surpassing all your thoughts of despair and hapiness and sadness. A more worthwhile goal than happiness or sadness is to surpass both happiness and sadness, this is the only goal that lasts and in fact the only one that can be ultimately aimed for. I don't believe for a minute that durable contentment and lasting peace can be achieved simply by building up stacks of posessions, all that'll happen if you strive in the straight world for a thousand years is that you'll find yourself trapped in a tomb of your own making, surrounded by the products of your own useless desire. The sensible thing to do is to pass by this clutter and go for what's lasting and real. This kind of goal is undefinable and unknown, it lies somewhere beyond.
Maybe, though, you can briefly shelter in the shade of your fake happiness for a while, but there'll come a time when you have to depart from that shade and embark once more on the road to somewhere better.