And so, the bare facts of my life: my birth, the seperation of my parents, my school problems, my childhood games, Oakely, my dad's paintings, the Socialist tradition, the Catholic church, my friends, my instability, my foolish infatuations, my failure upon failure, to lead myself somewhere worthwhile, to get a proper job, and more importantly to sustain belief in having a proper job, to reconcile my contradictions, to make something of my "gifts", to accept my own foulness and lack of grace, my own huge indecision, in short my failure to conceive even a portion of belief or hope in everything i see around me- My hopes for the future: none. My loves and hates: none. My achievements: zilch. My dreams: a blank state.
Too blanked and sated to be passionate about anything.