Art school interview dream 2

They were at art school in the seventies or eighties I spose. They belong to that punk or post-punk generation.
I am thinking of Beth: At sixteen she goes to art school. Her paintings were nothing special. She had a boyish figure and would brook no nonsense. She was working class.
She was interested in me cos I could draw and was always nice to me. It was Beth who told the twins of my expulsion from the college. I can imagine the scene.
If she caught the boys drawing cartoons, graffiti or manga style drawings, she would not tolerate it. She might even confiscate and bin the offending drawings.
A married woman, with kids. Even a woman like this is not immune to the art school disease: Pretentiousness.
The art school people are in their own little club. How do they justify themselves? I have always been jealous of people who can glide through life easily. The student boys and girls who are relaxed, whose actions are easy and untroubled, who seem to be not in the least affected by the kind of doubt which all but cripples me.
What does pretentiousness mean? To me it means the conviction that they have that what they are doing is important.
On what basis then can one claim to be an artist? I think of my father: He's certainly not anyone's ideal, but he is definitely unpretentious. He does not talk about his painting as anything important. Outwardly, at least, he is modest.
What are his views? He is a socialist and a republican. Is his art proletarian? In a sense it is. He cannot help but conceive and produce these images in the spirit of what he believes. And his beliefs are based on the experiences, sometimes bitter, of his working life.
You can't seriously claim that art is useful, but you can claim that it serves a purpose. The problem is to define the purpose.
Possible aims of art: To comment on society. To hold a mirror up to life and to highlight certain (usually negative) tendencies. To be spiritually uplifting in some way. To teach, to show alternatives. (This is positive). Could result though in mere propaganda. These obviously are not distinct.
But how many kids that go off to art college have a purpose in mind? And what purpose can I really claim for the images that I like to create?
Obituary of an artist: "He was afflicted by doubt throughout his life, seemingly at every turn. He seemed unable to sustain belief in either his image-making or his writing, its efficacy or worth".
It is belief that I lack....