But why do i care? Why not take all the canonical works of western civilization and consign them to the trash once and for all, the works that consensus has deigned to be worth reading? The works worth experiencing... Many of them bore and disgust me, and really my aversion springs from the simplest of reasons, that is because at one level, at face value, they are boring and disgusting, old-fashioned...
Maybe the schoolboy aversion to Shakespeare, for instance, comes from sound instincts. Maybe my aversion to religious cant comes from sound instincts, maybe its inevitable given my circumstances and it is my attempt to circumvent this aversion that is artificial and a waste of time. Is it merely because i want to appear cultured and clever? I think it's more out of curiosity. The desire to know...
And then there's the problem of boredom. I am honest about it. I have a desire up to a point. But i have no faith.
No faith; and thereby hangs a long, intricate tale whose details i could rhapsodies on endlessly. I am at the point where each thing comes to me sour and flat, not enlivened, fresh, meaningful in any way. As though, though hearing, tasting, seeing, smelling, i have somehow lost the sharp edge of my senses. A monochrome world, where each phenomenon that ought to excite me appears without meaning, flat.
No comments:
Post a Comment